Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
