we're blogging at a bar
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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