Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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