i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
