I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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