there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
