Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize