If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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