when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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