in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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