he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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