if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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