Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
