you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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