guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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