Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
