I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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