when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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