Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
