If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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