and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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