Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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