The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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