Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
