I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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