where does the pee come out of this thing
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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