can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We need to get me chipped asap
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
