i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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