The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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