I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
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Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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