And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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