everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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