I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
