I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
