can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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