Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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