using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
