In the future we'll all be gay
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
