So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
