Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
