Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
