Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
