I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize