Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
