my mouth tastes like poor choices
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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