508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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