Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
