Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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