I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize