If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You dont lie about slip and slides
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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