So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
