Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
