I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
