watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
this is an emotional support booty call
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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