I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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