Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
