So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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