she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
