Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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