Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
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Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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