did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
