yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize