whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
